Excuse Me

Alister and I were at the doctor’s office. There were only old people sitting there in the waiting room with us so that made Alister seem extra loud. Sooo… he farted. Then he announced to everyone that he farted.

Alister: I farted.
Me: Ok, just say “excuse me” when you fart.
Alister: (quite loudly) Excuse me!!! I farted!!!

I tried.

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Little Boys

I picked up Alister from school today.  His teacher mentioned he was behaving oddly about peeing in the toilet.  There’s never been a problem. He’s become a pro at the whole thing.  She said that he was insisting that he get to pee in the bushes.  *sigh*

Alister Helps Make Dinner

conversation with Alister when he is helping cook dinner:

Me: Honey, why are you licking the counter?
Alister: Mmmmm…. sugar.

Me: Ah, ok… wait, don’t drink that, it’s… olive oil. Too late.
Alister: Mmmm… onions.

Me: I’m glad you enjoy eating raw onions but I have to put those in a pan and cook them because they go in our dinner… so maybe save some please?
Alister: (grabs butter knife) I’ll cut this lemon for you. (lemon falls on floor, cut side down, because I already cut it in half)

Me: Careful with the knives… wait, what the?? DON’T DUMP THAT BOWL OF THYME IN YOUR HAIR!!!
Alister: Mommy, are you happy?

Me: Yes, I’m happy you want to help, just please listen to me, ok?
Alister: That’s ok mom, I still love you.

My kitchen assistant

My kitchen assistant