Mom, Are You Broken?

We live in a naked house.  Not in a creepy way but we are pretty open about our bodies and the general idea of nudity.  We don’t want to make Alister feel weird about his body or feel weird about seeing other people naked.  (this is me, attempting to not completely screw him up because I’d rather him pay for us to have a nice old folks home rather than years of therapy to undo whatever damage I might do in the coming years).

I only grew up seeing girls naked because I didn’t have brothers.  I did not grow up in a naked house.  Alister has seen me naked practically everyday of his life.  He only started wanting to bathe on his own in the last year.

One day, I was getting out of the shower and he looked at me and asked, “mom, are you broken?”  I was a bit confused at first and then I noticed WHAT he was looking at.  Ah, he noticed that mommy does not have a penis.

I tried to explain that mommies don’t have penises (at the time, we called them “weiners”, not because we feel weird about calling our body parts by their proper names but because some words just sound funny.  Weiner is one of them.

We spent some time that morning with him telling Aaron and me that mommy doesn’t have a weiner but we still went for about a month of him asking me if I was broken.

He recently started learning the proper names for our “bits” as he was calling them.  Anatomy according to Alister is that, “boys have bits or weiners, called penises.”  and that “girls have bits or baginas.”  Yes, mom has a bagina now.  It’s starting to get a little weird to have conversations with him about who has “baginas” and who doesn’t.  I mean really, who wants to think about Grandma’s bagina?  Not me.

Having a little boy is weird.

Shaving with Dad

Alister, getting ready for work in the morning with Dad. (don’t worry, we took the blade out of the razor).

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